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Band 4

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #books #store #internet
With
rapid
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the rapid
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 development of technology,
people
 nowadays
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 the
internet
 in
various
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a various
show examples
way
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ways
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.
This
 essay will discuss factors contributing to
this
 trend about store
knowledge
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
 rather than books and why I think it is a good thing. There are several reasons I suggest
to store
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storing
show examples
knowledge
 online brings many benefits.
Firstly
,
people
 may solve their
problem
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problems
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 conveniently and
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immediately
immidiately
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immediately
 by just searching the
internet
. It even
being
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is
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 a common phrase that "If you have
question
Add an article
a question
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, just google it", the only thing
what
Correct word choice
that
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people
 need to do, is snap their question on
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
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 application or laptop
then
 they can find the answer easily.
Secondly
, it made a good method to
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develop
develope
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develop
 education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 in
rural
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a rural
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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third
 countries. Many years ago children may
need
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toneed
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 buy expensive books for their studies in schools, but nowadays as
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 copies of
lesson's
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lesson
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 materials are
storaged
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stored
on
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in
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crowd
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the crowd
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,
enhencing
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enhancing
 young communities who live in an
inconvinient
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inconvenient
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environment
enviroment
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environment
 to get
knowledge
 in
a
Change the article
an
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easier
easiler
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easier
, cheaper way.
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages if
people
 store
knowledge
 on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, as much as information released online even what things actually are wrong,
people
 may believe
this
 wrong information easily if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack of
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evidence
avidence
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evidence
 to support the truth.
Therefore
people
 suggested the government should build up a group to identify
Correct word choice
whether these
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these information
Change the determiner
this information
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 are true or wrong when
those
Correct pronoun usage
it
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spreaded
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spreads
 online. As discussed
Correct your spelling
above
aboved
Correct your spelling
above
, nowadays
people
 can grab the
knowledge
 from
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 so easily, it
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
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 by new edge technology,x
Although
 it may bring
people
 to know something
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actually
acutally
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actually
 not true,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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peosonally
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personally
 I think it is
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controllable
controlable
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controllable
 so I
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believe
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belive
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believe
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 it is a good trend.
Submitted by LANPING WU on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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