IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Traffic congestion is becoming a huge problem for many major cities. Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce traffic in big cities.

#traffic #congestion #cities #measures
Nowadays, cities are suffering from excessive traffic that made people
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
unpleasant to live and work in. Due to the overpopulation and each member
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 his own
car
this
 issue occurs. I am with
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 your own
car
 but we must support and improve public transportation during working hours at least and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 diseases. Actually, if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is good public transportation or buses for every company which we miss in our cities, people will get encouraged to keep their cars at home and go to work and
thus
 the whole system would
improved
Change the verb form
be improved
improve
show examples
. As well, if cars are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
this
 means
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 kids and adults suffers from asthma and wear
breathing
Add an article
a breathing
show examples
 mask to protect themselves.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, having your own
car
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 shopping,
doctors
Change noun form
doctor's
show examples
 appointments and grocery shopping
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier to carry into the boot of the
car
.
Second
,
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 would suffer terribly cause costumers
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not visit only if they have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy transport to come. To conclude, cities were more beautiful before because we used to see the art in every building and street. I support the idea to have your own
car
 but get to your work with public transportation or private buses for the company
this
 will be helpful in different ways
Submitted by kholoudhershi.11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: