IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government of the country to ensure a healthy lifestyle for its people, while others believe that individuals should be free to make decisions for their lifestyles.

#people #responsibility #government #country #lifestyle #individuals #decisions #lifestyles
Nowadays, the topic of healthy life is being brought up daily. Many
people
 ask themselves: who is responsible for all of
this
? Are we responsible? Is the
government
 responsible for our
health
? It is obvious to say that different
people
 have discrete opinions. Despite those beliefs, after looking at the factors, I think every individual is responsible for their
health
. To start with, each individual knows their body better than the
government
 knows it.
This
 means, the individual can decide when they feel it's best to go to the doctor, when it's best to work out or when it's best to stop doing sports, and so on.
This
 exemplifies that the person has full responsibility for their healthy
lifestyle
 and matter of fact, any
lifestyle
 they want to follow. As mentioned before,
people
also
 tend to think that the
government
 has a say in a person's
lifestyle
. As mentioned above,
people
 are
also
 inclined to believe that the
government
 is
also
 responsible for a person’s
health
 and healthy
lifestyle
. Overall,
that is
 not completely inaccurate but the individual has more responsibility. The reason the
government
 is
also
 responsible for the healthy
lifestyle
 of human beings is that they are the ones who provide the hospitals, the ambulances, the
health
 insurance, and all of that. All in all, after looking at all the factors, every individual is responsible for their healthy
lifestyle
 but the
government
 themselves, are responsible for providing an efficient and well-working
health
 service.
Submitted by z.pfister on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: