IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views. And give your opinion.

#people #job #money #salary #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The decision on which
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
carreer
Correct your spelling
career
 path to follow is somehow vital in a person's life. Many
consier
Correct your spelling
consider
Use synonyms
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
 offering high salary will guarantee a more fulfilling life. Others believe that joy and working satisfaction is the key factors
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 choosing an occupation. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a range of benefits flowing from working for decent financial rewards. One of them is that workers are able to give their children a higher-quality educational environment, especially international schools. Simultaneously, they will afford branded items, jewellery and even multi-story houses, all of which show their level of material success and help individuals to command respect from communities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, high earners
also
Linking Words
 are capable of paying for travel tours to domestic hotspots or even foreign ones in order to widen their horizons.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is arguably stressful to get a well-paid
job
Use synonyms
. In order to receive
such
Linking Words
 high wages, employees are expected to bury their
nose
Fix the agreement mistake
noses
show examples
 in their projects and work against pressure as well as deadlines every midnight. By doing that, they are destroying their health day by day in exchange for financial rewards.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is advisable to work for/follow a
job
Use synonyms
 from which people can receive satisfaction. With a positive and
non stressful
Add a hyphen
non-stressful
show examples
 mind, people can accomplish their tasks more effectively as well as productively. These workers can have a more balanced life in which they acquire both health and pleasure at work. As far as I am concerned, it may be impossible to find
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 enjoyable
job
Use synonyms
 that offers
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary.
Submitted by nbhtrieu97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: