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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Overeating is a more widespread problem in the world in comparison to hunger. Why overeating is more important than hunger? What can we do to tackle overeating?

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We live in an era, where
people
Use synonyms
 have limitless access to plenty of material goods and
also
Linking Words
 food. Human beings stopped controlling themselves and they eat more than their bodies need to survive. Hunger is no longer the biggest problem nowadays.
Nevertheless
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, there are some options to change
people
Use synonyms
's habits. Overeating is more significant than
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of food in the world in the 21st century. The population is more wealthy and citizens do not think about what and how they eat, which can lead to obesity. Fat
people
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 are more likely to suffer from various diseases because their
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
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 cannot manage
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 weight.
For example
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, it is easier for corpulent
people
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 to have a heart attack,
therefore
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 it can lead to premature death.
Secondly
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,
people
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's choices have an impact on animals as well. We kill
Correct your spelling
enormous
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 of cows and pigs just to taste a hamburger or steak and it has
also
Linking Words
 a negative effect on the environment.
For example
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, slaughterhouses use a great amount of water, which as we all know is a major source in our
lives
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 and we definitely should limit the usage of it.
Moreover
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, the animals eat wheat and vegetables and these could be used to feed poor societies.
However
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, the government is able to make a difference.
People
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 in parliament should make fast food restaurants and meat in general, more expensive.
As a result
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,
people
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 would think twice before they ordered a meal in
such
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 a place and by limiting meat in their
lives
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, they would eat more vegetables and fruits,
therefore
Linking Words
 they could avoid obesity and help some animals on that account. In conclusion, the aforementioned points show that overeating is a huge problem these days. It makes
people
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 ill and the environment suffers because of
people
Use synonyms
's choices.
However
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, there is a possibility to change the way it is and
as a result
Linking Words
, save some
lives
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, not only human
lives
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.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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