IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many people today prefer to watch film or TV shows alone at home instead of watching with other people. What are the disadvantages and advantages of this development?

#people #film #tv #home #development
The illustration demonstrates the proportion of Australian genders in distinct ages group with physical
activity
 in 2010. In general, unlike the group aged 15 to 24, in all other groups females had regular exercise more than men up until the
age
 of 65 when they have almost similar
activity
. Regarding males, people in the
age
 group of 15 to 24 had more
activity
 than other groups by 52.8 per cent. When men were getting older, they experienced a slight decline in physical
activity
 to the
age
 of 35 – 44 by the percentage of 39.5.
Then
, the trend gradually grew to the
age
 of over 65 and more with a proportion of 46.7.
On the other hand
, the female trend is totally different. By raising their
age
, women had more exercise from 47.7 to almost over half in the
age
 of 55 to 64. And,
then
 the physical
activity
 of women decline to 46.7 per cent. At the
age
 of 65 and more, almost 47 per cent of both genders had exercised in that year.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: