IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some employers are willing to give their workers a certain amount of unpaid sabbatical time, believing this benefits the individual and the organisation. Other employers see no merit in this arrangement and discourage it. Consider the possible arguments for and against unpaid sabbatical leave, and reach a viewpoint of your own.

#employers #workers #amount #time #organisation #merit #arrangement #arguments
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Taking some
time
Use synonyms
 off from whatever someone is engaged in,is usually debated among employers.Some opine that it helps the workers to freshen up,while others deny its importance,considering it just a waste of
time
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.My opinion in
this
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 regard is a certain amount of sabbatical
time
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 to spend some
time
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 connecting with the family or to
work
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 on a personal hobby is imperative to personal well-being.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,taking some
time
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 to
work
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 on personal relations is important too rather than just being a money-making machine.The problem of the new generation,especially in the developed world,is the lack of communication within the family due to which families may fall apart.According to several recent surveys,families are not well connected as they were ten years ago.
Similarly
Linking Words
,giving
time
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 to yourself is
also
Linking Words
 essential for personal development.Everyone
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
always has something that they love to do.People would tend to be much happier and more productive if they could find some
time
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 to invest in
such
Linking Words
 hobbies.
For instance
Linking Words
,there are many surveys done throughout the year to prove that
employees
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 that invest some
time
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 in their personal hobbies are much more efficient than those who do not.
Conversely
Linking Words
,some employers oppose the idea of sabbatical leave to keep their company and
employees
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 working in their usual routines.If some
employees
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 would take a break,it may affect the overall outcome of the firm,they believe.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,after a leave,
employees
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 may
further
Linking Words
 need some
time
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 to settle.
For example
Linking Words
,firms,where there are more absent workers,tend to produce low results. I hold the opinion that there must be free
time
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 for workers after working round the year to blow the steam off.Organizations must take care of their
employees
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 and let them
work
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 on themselves for a while,it would benefit the organization more rather than hurting them. In a nutshell,everyone needs some break to
work
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 on themselves rather than just being a corporate slave.Some may say
otherwise
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.For an organization to succeed,its people must be happier so that they may give their all,it has been proven in several scientific studies.Giving some
time
Use synonyms
 off would be a good idea for firms to prosper.
Submitted by saphire8619 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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