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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extend do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

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There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether different
countries
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 should give more attention to producing more
materials
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 and
goods
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, whereas others demure that it is not an appropriate goal for every
country
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that producing more
materials
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 and
goods
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 helps authorities to thrive and excel in their
country
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. Particularly may boost competitiveness between other progressive and innovative
countries
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. Producing more outputs doesn’t have a negative impact on a
country
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 and on
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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 living there, but it opens the door for society to enjoy many
materials
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 and
goods
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 just in the
country
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 they live
.
Change preposition
in.
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For example
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, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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common thing when humans are going to other
countries
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 to buy things that don’t produce in their native
country
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.
This
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 means that a big
amount
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 of
production
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 will allow any
country
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 to be in demand from other places all over the world
,
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apply
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 because
people
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 from different cities would come to buy something they need. Particularly would accelerate and enhance regular life for human beings in that
country
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,
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apply
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 because they would collect more
money
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 that may boost the average revenue of the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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 assume that a big
amount
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 of
materials
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 and
goods
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 aren't necessary at all.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 means, if more
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production
Replace the word
product
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 is produced, more of it would go to the trash bag, because of its bad
quality
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a
country
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 produces a lot of different products,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 would be of low
quality
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, because
for
Change preposition
apply
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quality
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production
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 it requires
money
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, but
for
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apply
show examples
outputs
Add a comma
,outputs
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 it demands even more
money
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. Not every
country
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 can allow
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
itself
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 to spend that much
money
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 just for producing
goods
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 and
materials
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. Almost every product you need you can buy in online shops on the internet. That means you do not have to go to another
country
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 to buy something and other
people
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 may not come to yours, because they have the opportunity to use the internet for it. Having considered both views, I would assert that a big
amount
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 of
goods
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 and
materials
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 are good, but it may lead to low-
quality
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production
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. For
countries
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 that don’t want to make a lot, it is better to make a small
amount
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 and cease, but of good
quality
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.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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