Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

There are
controversials
Correct your spelling
controversial
controversies
perceptions heating up a debate over the expense of the healthcare and educational system.
While
some claim that it is crucial for the authority to foot the bill for those
two
expenditures, the opposite makes a notion that the governors bear no liability to do
such
a thing.
While
both perspectives are valid to some extent, I would contend that the bill for the medical and educational industries should be foot, but only partially. Obviously, it is
of
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apply
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necessity
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necessary
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that the government cash in hospitals and academies.
This
is
due to
the fact that not only can those
two
systems enhance the
labor
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labour
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workforce’s skills in the respective field but
also
their physical health significantly and,
therefore
, help the country’s economy foster dramatically.
For instance
, developed nations with massive economic strength,
such
as Germany or Holland, all yield their citizens with education and medical care for free.
Hence
, it is of high importance that expenses for these
two
backbone industries are paid by the authority.
While
the essence of the governors’ investments in the healthcare and teaching systems is
widely-acknowledged
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widely acknowledged
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, they had better not bear these costs alone. And the explanation for
this
is that the country’s budget is not capable enough since alternative facets still remain.
Moreover
,
this
burden should
also
be shared with the inhabitants because by spending money on these services, they will be more conscious of the quality of their health and studies.
For instance
, facilities provision,
traveling
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travelling
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development and the enhancement of the amusement industry are compelling examples
for
Change preposition
of
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other fields that require the budget of the nation. Provided that the government supports the medical and educational system financially and completely, people who are involved in drugs or are ruining their physical health directly or individuals
that
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who
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drop out of school will
also
benefit from
this
decision, and
therefore
cause injustice and unfairness in the society.
Thus
, the authority should not provide these
two
aspects with full financial support. In conclusion, though payment for the educational and healthcare system from the governments is of paramount significance, the burden should not be carried by them alone.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a structured argument on the topic, but it could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph follows logically from the one before it, and that your ideas are presented in a sequence that makes your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more impactful. A stronger thesis statement in the introduction and a more concise summary of your argument in the conclusion could enhance your essay's effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Your essay supports its main points, but incorporating more specific examples and evidence to reinforce your arguments can significantly improve its persuasiveness. Aim to include clear examples that directly support your main ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the essay topic, but your response could be made more complete by fully answering all parts of the prompt. Make sure you provide a clear opinion throughout your essay and explicitly address all aspects of the question.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat comprehensive but can be made clearer. Work on explicitly stating your arguments and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will help make your essay more articulate and easy to understand.
task achievement
Including more relevant and specific examples can make your essay more compelling. Make sure that the examples you provide are directly related to the points you're making and that they illustrate your arguments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental human rights
  • boosts the country's economy
  • productivity
  • public funding
  • equality and accessibility
  • socio-economic status
  • privatized
  • disparities
  • prioritize
  • people's well-being
  • inefficiencies
  • bureaucratic challenges
  • mixed approach
  • optimize
  • quality
  • availability
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