Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?
There are
argumentatives
notions heating up a debate over the expense of the healthcare and educational system. Correct your spelling
argumentative
While
some claim that it is vital for the authority to foot the bill for those two expenditures, the opposite makes a statement that the governors bear no liability to do such
a thing. Whilst both perspectives are valid to some certain extent, I would contend that the bill for the medical and educational industries should be foot, but only partially.
Obviously, it is of
Change preposition
apply
necessity
that the government invest in hospitals and academies. Replace the word
necessary
This
is due to
the fact that not only can those two systems enhance the labor
workforce’s skills in the respective field but Change the spelling
labour
also
their physical health significantly and, therefore
, help the country’s economy foster dramatically.
For instance
, developed nations with massive economic strength, such
as Germany or Holland, all yield their citizens with education and medical care for free.
Hence
, it is of high importance that expenses for these two backbone industries are paid by the authority.
While
the essence of the governors’ investments in the healthcare and teaching systems is widely-acknowledged
, they had better not bear these costs alone.
And the explanation for Correct your spelling
widely acknowledged
this
is that the country’s budget is not capable enough since alternative facets still remain. Moreover
, this
burden should also
be shared with the inhabitants because by spending money on these services, they will be more conscious of the quality of their health and studies.
For instance
, facilities provision, traveling
development and the enhancement of the amusement industry are compelling examples Change the spelling
travelling
for
other fields that require the budget of the nation.
Provided that the government supports the medical and educational system financially and completely, people who are involved in drugs or are ruining their physical health directly or individuals Change preposition
of
that
drop out of school will Correct pronoun usage
who
also
benefit from this
decision, and therefore
cause injustice and unfairness in the society.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow of your essay. Consider linking your ideas more clearly and using transition words to guide the reader through your argument. This will help in achieving a more cohesive structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should more explicitly state your position on the issue, while your conclusion should summarize your main points effectively. This will help frame your essay better from start to finish.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your arguments with more specific and relevant examples. This not only strengthens your argument but also makes your essay more engaging and informative for the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses the task. You should clearly present your opinion on the government's responsibility for healthcare and education, and ensure that your essay develops this opinion with sufficient detail and explanation.
Task Achievement
Strive for clear and comprehensive expression of your ideas. Avoid overly complex sentences that may obscure your points. Clarity and directness can significantly enhance the effectiveness of your communication.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.