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Band 4

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
In modern society, the Government is spending more various funds
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 arts
instead
 of using
for
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
 other community conditions. They consider entertainment is one of the most successful keys in our lives. I believe both factors are equally needed for
residents
 because of some evidence below. In my opinion, art is necessary for human health. American researchers said that arts and entertainment not even help the brain in relieving stress, but
also
 build up more creativity and wake up hidden talents naturally. According to the newspaper
from
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in
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 Hongkong, children who spend an hour listening to educational songs, have less chance to get mental issues when they grow up.
On the other hand
,
residents
 may find it difficult to live without stable facilities. Transportation is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 element that cannot be lacked. Most of us like to have a personal vehicle to manage working time or not be late
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 school. CTV news channel posted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing data about the daily
snow storm
Correct your spelling
snowstorm
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, which led to
residents
 in Nova Scotia getting stuck in their basements for a few days.
Moreover
, most Japanese people answer surveys that investing in house structures is needed because of unexpected natural disasters. In conclusion, The Government may know how to deal with arts and public conditions investment based on reality measures. None of them
are
Change the verb form
is
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 wasteful unless one is over-abusing.
Besides
, the country’s leaders
also
 need to look
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society's demands wisely before spending funds to avoid disagreement
from
Change preposition
among
show examples
residents
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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