IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Due to the fact that it is 21st century most organizations’ principle is getting well-dressed but some companies do not require
elegancy
Correct your spelling
elegance
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 in clothing including formal clothes. Their value in
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of
work
Use synonyms
 is more essential than appearance which is not incorrect.
However
Linking Words
, dressing smartly is one
way
Use synonyms
 to get self-confidence and increase a chance of
better
Add an article
a better
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result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the work-field
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work-field
Correct your spelling
work field
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. Those must need fashionable or stylish outfit
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mostly comes from “service-related field”
such
Linking Words
 as hotels, markets, clothing company and even police etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, imagine you
work
Use synonyms
 in a fancy hotel and your customers are the wealthiest people alive but
then
Linking Words
 what if you are dressed in just a casual
way
Use synonyms
, it is obvious that it will not be suitable. Your customers probably will get
bad
Add an article
a bad
the bad
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first
Linking Words
 impression about you just because of your appearance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, dressing in a smart
way
Use synonyms
 is not only about being elegant but
also
Linking Words
 about self-confidence which means the more you look good, the more you believe in yourself.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the organization values
work
Use synonyms
 more than aspect it can be effective too. To give you an idea, if the company you
work
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 in doesn’t need you to dress smartly, you do not need to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
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what to wear to look better and can concentrate on your
work
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 more efficiently. What is more is, it can save
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 amount of time and effort at the same time as it is
easier
Correct article usage
an easier
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way
Use synonyms
 possible to focus on your
work
Use synonyms
. You do not need to buy or wear
good
Change the adjective
well
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 qualified clothes means you save that amount of money and just dress as casually as possible. Overall, it depends on what sort of companies
and
Add a missing verb
are and
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 what are rules or principles of that company
.
Add a missing verb
are.
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 But I think
Linking Words
first
Change the article
the first
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 impression is one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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 in our life and to make a good one
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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 have to dress more smartly than usual. Even concentrating on
work
Use synonyms
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
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 your appearance could be
mental
Add an article
a mental
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 break for you, you still
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to decide what to wear cleverly.
Submitted by ET21002ndgroup on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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