IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that a visitor to country should follow local custom and tradition while other believe that host country should respect the cultural differences Discuss both these view and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to accept and welcome other
cultures
Use synonyms
 which have been brought to their
countries
Use synonyms
 by
tourists
Use synonyms
 and some others believe that
tourists
Use synonyms
 should behave as the frame of the host country's rules and
customs
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay tries to cover both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views. The
first
Linking Words
 groups who opine that
people
Use synonyms
 should respect
tourists
Use synonyms
’
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 believe that introducing new
cultures
Use synonyms
 to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society can be suitable. In the other words,
people
Use synonyms
 can learn new things from
tourists
Use synonyms
 and it can be helpful for increasing
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 awareness about the way of living in each corner of the world.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, these groups believe that
people
Use synonyms
 and governments should be flexible and admit other
cultures
Use synonyms
 if they want to be successful in the tourism industry and attract more
tourists
Use synonyms
. Actually, lots of
countries
Use synonyms
 are competing with each other for being the destination of visitors
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 holidays and without respecting different
cultures
Use synonyms
, they may be lost in
this
Linking Words
 competition.
By contrast
Linking Words
, some others worry about their local
customs
Use synonyms
 and traditional
cultures
Use synonyms
 and they think that bringing new
cultures
Use synonyms
 and behaviours to one country by visitors can make a serious
threaten
Replace the word
threat
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
cultures
Use synonyms
. Put another way, they believe that
people
Use synonyms
 may be interested in other
Use synonyms
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
cultures
Use synonyms
 when
tourists
Use synonyms
 come to their
countries
Use synonyms
 and
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way, they forget their local
customs
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a new style of wearing would be replaced by local clothes or new foods would be developed
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional ones.
Hence
Linking Words
, they always want
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists
Use synonyms
 to behave as the host country allows.
For instance
Linking Words
, in some Islamic
countries
Use synonyms
, governments prohibit drinking alcohol for
tourists
Use synonyms
 or ask women
tourists
Use synonyms
 to wear
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
specific dresses. I think,
therefore
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 always would like to learn and visit local
customs
Use synonyms
 when they go to new places, so, host
countries
Use synonyms
 can make a potential for
tourists
Use synonyms
 to be free and
also
Linking Words
 encourage them to follow local rules and
customs
Use synonyms
 by introducing and showing their benefits. Undeniably visitors would be interested in behaving as
similar
Change the word
similarly
show examples
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 local
people
Use synonyms
 if the proper strategies would be considered.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: