some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the recent decade, so complex has the
career
path patterns become, that it's not practically reasonable to generalize a one-for-all prescription for everyone. Either joining long-term in a specific company or sweeping between different organizations could be fitted for relevant and special characteristics, however
, personally considering my persona and career
goals I weigh the latter one on the former one. Both views could be compared based on two factors: the level of certainty as well as
the growth potential.
To be more clear, a long-lasting presence in an identical organization, exactly in contradiction to circulating between different companies, though to a great extent mitigates the level of uncertainty that an employee should bear, puts a cap on how much he could grow in his career
ladder. As evidence, a recent report published by Glassdoor, a globally accredited job placement platform, revealed that people with prolonged career
steps and contracts, something more than 3 years, have reported a shorter annual increase in their salary, which could be considered a fair indicator of career
growth, in comparison to people who remained at most 18 months in each company.
As mentioned above, such
could be dealing with the inevitable risk of landing a new job in favour of accelerating my career
, which just risks
taker people like me could bearVerb problem
apply
it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In other words
, having an ambitious and adventurous mindset, I, at just 27 years old, have been successful to become
an International Investment Manager in a regionally well-known exempt fund. Change preposition
in becoming
While
being at the apex of my career
may seem interesting at first glance, I could not reach such
success without going out of my comfort zone, and neither could anyone else. For instance
, I remember in some period recent
9 years I could just earn a living, late on-boarding my new jobs.
Correct word choice
of the past
To conclude
, personally, I think having a long time
contract with a specific organization is not my cup of tea, even though I have to tolerate inexorable uncertainty in my life. Correct your spelling
long-term
finally
, It's not suggestible to everyone without considering the level of safety and ambition that they are looking for.Submitted by alirezamaleky73 on
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task response
The essay needs to address the prompt more directly and provide more balanced arguments for both views. Clear and comprehensive ideas need to be improved with relevant specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat weak. Use of cohesive devices could be improved to better link ideas and provide a clearer progression of arguments.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or inappropriate word choice. Work on using more precise and fitting vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. Attention to sentence structure, verb tense, and subject-verb agreement is needed to improve overall grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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