IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people believes that children`s time outside of school should be fill with schedule activities such as art and music classes and sports others feels that childern needs free time to play and relax discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #children`s #time #school #schedule #activities #art #music #classes #sports #childern
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 should need free time to play and relax before engaging in
applyart
Correct your spelling
apply art
,
music
 and it is very necessary for
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 to engage in maximum rest after school because it helps them to relax the brain and look more healthy before engaging in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
sports,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 it helps them
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
grow but children who engage in art,
music
 and sport at a school without relaxation tend to look less healthy than one who engages in rest and relaxation before
music
 and sport. so,
therefore
 is very in important that children should relax before engaging in art,
music
 and sport in other to have more energy and confidence
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 themselves, in ,
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
show examples
 is very important for children to have more relaxation before engaging in different activities
such
 as athletics and games
Submitted by on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: