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Band 5

Directors of organizations receive higher salaries than the ordinary worker. Some people think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

#directors #organizations #salaries #worker #people
It is
obviously
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obvious
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 that in contemporary society people who possess higher
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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 in a company get more desirable
paid
Replace the word
pay
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. Some people think it is acceptable while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others think
otherwise
,
Correct word choice
and said
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said
Wrong verb form
saying
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this
 condition is not fair for normal employers. Both given sides will be discussed in
this
 essay, and in my
opinions
Fix the agreement mistake
opinion
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,
although
 it still has some positive aspects, unequal wages are harmful to the organization in the long run.
To begin
 with, paying higher salaries to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high-level workers may lead to a more productive working environment. Money could be a strong incentive for most employees,
hence
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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better material condition, they may work harder to achieve the goal of
corporation
Add an article
the corporation
show examples
, in order to be promoted. And
a
Correct article usage
apply
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substantial
paid
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pay
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also
 contribute to a condition that fewer resignation of experienced workers
,
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apply
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 because they do not want to lose
such
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the such
a such
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 job.
Nevertheless
, the passive
aspects
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aspect
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 of it
is
Change the verb form
are
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certainly
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certain
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 that
this
 unfair payment is detrimental to the enthusiasm of
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
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,
for instance
, work all day with exhaustion, ordinary people only receive
meager
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meagre
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 wages, while directors who sat on
comfortable
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a comfortable
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chair
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chairs
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 in their personal
office
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offices
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 and paid several times higher.
Only
Correct article usage
The only
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 notion emerging in anyone who faced
this
 situation is why should I make
contribution
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a contribution
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 to
such
Add an article
the such
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firm
Correct article usage
a firm
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, no one could be satisfied with their career without fairness.
Therefore
a
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apply
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long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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 harm could be exposed to the development potential of the organization. In conclusion, I partly believe that the method of offering very distinguishing financial support to the different level of worker has some merit, but it
damage
Change the verb form
damages
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 the future of
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 in the end.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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