IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect
In
this
 day and age, many
people
 like to enjoy playing
computer
games
. In spite of several benefits that
this
 trend provides, it seems to me that its problems are more significant. On the one hand, I think that
video
games
 have some advantages like
concentration
Add an article
a concentration
show examples
 in thinking, creativity and relaxation. The reason is that
people
 can produce
games
 that users can experience studying with rising gradually hard-level, while other
games
 can make
people
 release stress.
For example
, the game Lingoes is available on Appstore and CH Play that adults or even children can download and self-learning step-by-step levels.
Similarly
, after a day of hard work or study,
people
 want to escape from the real world to immerse themselves in a colourful virtual world with the game Fifa soccer. As a consequence,
video
games
 have several positive effects on players.
In contrast
, if there are no
computer
games
,
people
 become difficult to study and entertain themselves.
On the other hand
, I believe that
video
games
 have
also
 disadvantages
such
 as spending too much time on them, making them addictive and competing between a win and a loss. It could be explained by the fact that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 like playing
computer
games
 while the number of young gamers accounts for more and more majority. To illustrate, many children now consume most of their free time on the
computer
 or mobile
games
, even in some cases the students do not remember to take a meal which has an impact on their health.
Also
, several
games
 can cause gamers of falling into win-and-loss rounds, even spending all their money on paying for
games
.
This
 can result in something pupils or students having to stop studying or stay at the same class level. Other players are badly in debt and have to sell their houses.
However
, creating
video
games
 is a great innovation that helps the life of humans get better. In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawbacks of
video
games
 are more considerable than the benefits.
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: