IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantage for tourists who visit such places. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
A long time ago, most people did not like to
travel
 to hard places,
such
 as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. Usually, popular tourist areas are being chosen because easy to move around from countries to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 countries.
However
, it's different now; some travellers are quite interested in going to explore
such
 places; even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space or the moon, to find out the experiment and for their
enjoyments
Fix the agreement mistake
enjoyment
show examples
 despite requiring more effort to put on. A common tourist place may become boring for them, for those who love challenging work. By travelling to these areas, other people can learn from their photos, videos and their sharing experiences.
This
 is why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 It's wonderful for knowledge and advantages for the rest of us who don't even go there yet are able to see
such
 lovely places.
For instance
, students can do their research or thesis as a reference.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 from learning opportunities, there are disadvantages as well, which can be happening during the
travel
such
 as injuries due to
sandstorm
Fix the agreement mistake
sandstorms
show examples
 in the desert or sickness due to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
harsh weather which is very cold or very hot.
Additionally
, those adventures have much
troublesome
Replace the word
trouble
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 prepare the journey in advance and will find
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 to stay there.
Moreover
, more financial burdens to
travel
 to
such
 areas, and no one can help if something happens to them. In conclusion, even if they'd like to explore those trips, the person should not visit alone and should
travel
 with a group or with others who share the same interest.
Submitted by pmh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: