IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that the fast food industry has made a negative effect on health, the environment, and family eating habits. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons with relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #food #industry #effect #health #environment #habits
The
food
 industry is one of the largest
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
 in business. Today a lot of consumers are buying and eating "fast
food
",
thus
,
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 climate change
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. I totally agree that fast
food
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 effect on Earth.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
including
Replace the word
includes
show examples
recipe
Fix the agreement mistake
recipes
show examples
such
 as fried potato and slices of
beef
 or pork between toasted bread,
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
, it is very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 human health because all of
these
Change the determiner
this food
show examples
food
 hardly digestion in
stoma
Add an article
the stoma
a stoma
show examples
.
First
 of all,
to produce
Change the verb form
producing
show examples
 one kilogram of
beef
 could cost
thirty six
Add a hyphen
thirty-six
show examples
 kilograms of carbon dioxide which is absolutely unbelievable. The green peace community would like to protect the environment with all their efforts and have some kind
programs
Change preposition
of programs
show examples
such
 as artificially created
beef
. So,
this
 kind of
beef
 could decrease the number of carbon dioxide and
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
, the air will be cleaner than nowadays.
Also
, I would like to say that, I agree with all helpful and useful ecological programs.
At the
Change preposition
The
show examples
last
 time, folks
facing
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 natural disasters,
therefore
, communities should be more careful and responsible.
For instance
, so many fires in forests happen and water flooding on
coast
Correct article usage
the coast
show examples
. Even predictions that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of cities will go underwater and
that is
 not good. To sum up, humanity
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 responsible for
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of air and water where people live. In near future, the government should take steps forward in
Add an article
an eco
show examples
eco friendly
Add a hyphen
eco-friendly
show examples
 way. In my opinion, authorities around the world can handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eco problems by doing law
Replace the word
changes
show examples
changings
Correct your spelling
changing
show examples
,
for instance
, rise taxes for factories or for old cars.
Submitted by alex2022ny on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Non-communicable diseases
  • Saturated fats
  • Disposable packaging
  • Carbon footprint
  • Convenience food
  • Nutritional value
  • Eating patterns
  • Socioeconomic disparities
  • Affordable meals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: