IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people now choose to move out of crowded cities due to many drawbacks of city life. Discuss the disadvantages of living in big cities.

Nowadays, large cities are becoming more and more inhabited, but living in a big
city
Use synonyms
 may result in many drawbacks because of some problems.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it has too many factories based on industrialization and modernization, vehicles,
traffic
Correct word choice
and traffic
show examples
 jams which cause air, water and noise pollution.
As a result
Linking Words
,
city
Use synonyms
 dwellers often suffer from health problems
such
Linking Words
 as which
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 get many respiratory problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or even serious cancers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, urban
life
Use synonyms
 is much more stressful than rural
life
Use synonyms
. The cost of living in the
city
Use synonyms
 is so high that many
people
Use synonyms
 often break the bank because of what they have to pay for renting a house,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, and school fees which makes them really tense.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 is more dangerous than country
life
Use synonyms
, because it has more traffic accidents,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
higher crime rate which makes
people
Use synonyms
 worried when living there. Adults are easily spoiled by bad habits including social vices. In brief,
city
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 has a lot of drawbacks that
people
Use synonyms
 need to consider carefully when they want to move to the
city
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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