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Band 5.5

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?

#group #team #activities #skills #life
Nowadays, team
activities
 are being encouraged throughout the world as it is being seen that it can be a good approach to make
people
 friendly and cooperative. In
further
 paragraphs, I would shed
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
light on the advantages and positive outcomes of
group
 work. To commence with,
group
activities
 make
people
 more cooperative among the main kind of their ages and they get to know other points of those big get a great chance to expose themselves by the insightful situation. To elaborate , they can acquire new friends which can have a positive result on their personality and obtain new experiences with them.
For example
, according to a survey conducted in Great Britain, it is being seen that
people
 who are not and give in
group
activities
 or not being friendly
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 is changed into introverted. ,
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the
people
 get to know new
people
 and the right and wrong Path on which day should go and they should not go.
In contrast
 to it, flocks who deserve themselves and do not talk to other
people
 are
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 depressed and there is always a thought of doing suicide because they do not have many
people
 to share with and they do not think that
people
 were going to understand him or her.
For instance
, it is being of How is served that
people
 who do not talk have the highest ratio of
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 into the category of depression and there could be a habit of gathering negative thoughts. To conclude, I firmly believe that
people
 who indulge themselves in
group
activities
 are more friendly as well as of extrovert nature, whereas,
people
 who have a habit of being reserved and do not want to open up to other
people
 have a feeling of depression all the time.
Additionally
, they restrain themselves from gaining new experiences and enhance their skills in the most positive manner.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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