Some people suggest that children do not understand the world or work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Entering
work
-life for young people looks like a transition which has a significant effect on their future success. Some argue that youngsters should be prepared for
this
change and school is one place that can take
this
duty alongside providing academic studies. I totally agree with
this
perspective and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will examine two reasons.
First
and foremost, familiarity with
work
Add an article
the work
show examples
environment and career system is essential which helps employees get along well with their co-workers, managers and their boss. If adolescents have some
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
experiments, they will obtain some vital knowledge regarding communicating and dealing with people and problems that could lead to efficiency and productivity.
Moreover
,
work
experience is one of the most important factors in one’s curriculum vitae,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
it might not sound fair as there are many capable and educated graduates with no experience who will not be able to find a job.
Consequently
, even some basic
work
experiences or short-term internships can change employees’
future
Fix the agreement mistake
futures
show examples
and provide them with a better chance of getting higher positions. To summarize, schools are the most important sites in which students can build their future success and guarantee their career life by providing some opportunities for their learners in order to accept the challenge and gain knowledge about job atmosphere and participation .
Submitted by niligh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: