IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that people in senior positions alone should make decisions in a business, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #positions #decisions #business #employees #process
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The
Correct your spelling
These
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 type of leadership skills
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a great impact
in
Change preposition
on
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 an organization. Some people argue that
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 should be taken by those at the upper
level
 alone while others are of the opinion that there should be involvement of the lower
level
 as well. In my opinion, I think there should be collective involvement of
both
 sectors.
This
 essay will discuss
both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
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 and provide a logical conclusion.
In
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On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, a productive business is based on
both
 the senior and junior employee's
decision
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decisions
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. In an organization, the lower sector
have
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has
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 more communication with the
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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,where they can easily note their complaints and relay
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 during meetings so they can debate and discuss the solutions
of
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to
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 those problems.
For example
, a customer of a bank lay a
complain
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complaint
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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customers
Change to a genitive case
customer's
customers'
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 service about the delay in queues and transactions, the service provider can
then
 lay
the
Change preposition
out the
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 complaints and the possible solutions which be acted on to the upper
level
 to be sorted out.
Furthermore
, a collective decision of
both
 levels can build a good relationship between them, thereby leading to job satisfaction among the employees.
On the other hand
,decisions
make
Change the form of the verb
made
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 by only the higher rank can reduce the productivity of the company because
of
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apply
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the decisions taken by them may not be beneficial to the junior employees and can
also
 cause
low
Add an article
the low
a low
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return
Fix the agreement mistake
returns
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of
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from
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 customers,thereby leading to bankruptcy. In conclusion,
both
 the upper and lower
level
 of employees are needed for
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
decisions for the betterment of a business.
Submitted by enaughetheresa on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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