Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #children #activities #freedom

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The two pie charts compare the percentages of online

sales

Use synonyms

across different retail sectors in Canada in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

two different years, 2005 and 2010. Overall, the online sale of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electronic item and home furnishing dropped,

however

Linking Words

, the craze for food and video games increased during the five years.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in 2005, the majority of online

sales

Use synonyms

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

accounted for

electronics

Correct article usage

the electronics

show examples

and appliance sector

with

Change preposition

show examples

35%,

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

percentage had dropped to 30% by 2010. During the same

five year

Add a hyphen

five-year

show examples

period, the number of people deciding to buy food and beverages online increased and the transactions went from just 22% to 32%, making it the retail sector with the largest proportion of the online market. In 2005, the home furnishing industry boasted n impressive 25% of the total online

sales

Use synonyms

in Canada.

However

Linking Words

, by 2010, the figure had fallen considerably to 15%. Interestingly, online

sales

Use synonyms

of video games eventually overtook

sales

Use synonyms

of home furnishing,

although

Linking Words

video games still represented only 23% of the market.

Submitted by Alizadeh_masoud_93 on Sun Nov 20 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

166 words

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Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

The best way to remove poverty in developing countries is to provide 6 years of free education to all children. So that they can read, write and use numbers agree or disagree

Many people use social media everyday to get in touch with other people and obtain the news.Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?