Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The two pie charts compare the percentages of online
sales
across different retail sectors in Canada in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two different years, 2005 and 2010. Overall, the online sale of
the
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apply
show examples
electronic item and home furnishing dropped,
however
, the craze for food and video games increased during the five years.
To begin
with, in 2005, the majority of online
sales
was
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accounted for
electronics
Correct article usage
the electronics
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and appliance sector
with
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at
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35%,
however
,
this
percentage had dropped to 30% by 2010. During the same
five year
Add a hyphen
five-year
show examples
period, the number of people deciding to buy food and beverages online increased and the transactions went from just 22% to 32%, making it the retail sector with the largest proportion of the online market. In 2005, the home furnishing industry boasted n impressive 25% of the total online
sales
in Canada.
However
, by 2010, the figure had fallen considerably to 15%. Interestingly, online
sales
of video games eventually overtook
sales
of home furnishing,
although
video games still represented only 23% of the market.
Submitted by Alizadeh_masoud_93 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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