IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Explain the reasons for this and discuss possible effects it may have on society.

#families #people #effects #society
Petersburg
 is the
second
 largest
city
 in Russia and over 7 million people live there. Districts are populated evenly, much of
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 staff are close to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and
bedroom
Correct article usage
the bedroom
show examples
 community
close
Add a missing verb
is close
show examples
 to
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 sides, so it is not a congested
city
. The most vibrant place is Nevskiy Prospect because there are many monuments, churches, palaces and beautiful places. Everybody who thinks that things listed above are dull can find Dumskaya and Rubinstaina streets near the prospect. There are many bars and clubs with entertainment for any taste. People who do not live in St.
Petersburg
 think that it is an affluent and spotless
city
,
such
 a romantic place with kind and polite citizens. But it is not fully true. If you go to the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 you will see
destroying
Wrong verb form
destroyed
show examples
 buildings which are destroying the beauty of architecture. Unfortunately, it is not
well-run
Add an article
a well-run
the well-run
show examples
city
 with many run-downs. But there are many advantages!
For example
, it is
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
 and secure place. For 7 years which I spent there neither my friends nor I met a crime. One more advantage is that St.
Petersburg
 is not polluted much because many factories are outside the
city
. But if we are talking about air, it is necessary to say about high humidity. Because of
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 temperature feels hotter in summer and colder in winter. Some people cannot live in a climate like that because of their pulmonary diseases
such
 as asthma. St.
Petersburg
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 beautiful
city
 with its pluses and minuses and if you want to feel Peter the Great’s reign era with beautiful architecture and lots of museums you should visit the
city
 as soon as possible.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: