IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some would argue that all students in universities have to study the
subject
Use synonyms
 they like ,
while
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 other
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that they have to only study something useful for their future.
For example
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, those related to
science
Correct article usage
the science
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 and technology sectors .
Although
Linking Words
 learning about the latter
subject
Use synonyms
 is crucial to
secure
Wrong verb form
securing
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 a good job and salary, I believe that enrollment in whatever
subject
Use synonyms
 they favour leads to students being successful in their fields . Nowadays , studying science and technology during
third level
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third-level
show examples
 education makes
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 able to easily find a job that pays high wages .
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
working
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
places
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
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up to date
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up-to-date
show examples
 technology informing
aim
Correct article usage
the aim
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to improve
Change preposition
of improving
show examples
 the quality of work in the sectors .So everyone thought that you must acquire knowledge for the prescribed subjects and work on it . Many graduates were able to have high
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 and good wages in many
removed
Add a missing verb
were removed
show examples
 from the section and
doesn't
Wrong verb form
didn't
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 get the jobs
as
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apply
show examples
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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 willing to do. It is very important for students to study the subjects they like because
this
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 is the reason behind a successful career . The love for
a particular subjects
Correct the article-noun agreement
particular subjects
a particular subject
show examples
allow
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allows
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 them to work beyond
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 limits to grab great opportunities.If a person works on the
subject
Use synonyms
 which are of
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 interest gave them wings to fly . Many
of
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apply
show examples
musicians decided to learn music because they were passionate about a positive spirit
helped
Correct pronoun usage
that helped
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 them to climb . In conclusion, my opinion is to choose the
subject
Use synonyms
 you are interested in because
self satisfaction
Add a hyphen
self-satisfaction
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,
major
Correct word choice
and major
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 efforts are
putted
Correct your spelling
put
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 it . Studying whatever they prefer is better because
this
Linking Words
 leads to success in their field.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline both sides of the argument in your introduction to give a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Use more cohesive devices, such as 'on one hand' and 'on the other hand', to improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively, especially in the context of the benefits of studying subjects one enjoys.
content
The argument for studying subjects of interest was well articulated and had a clear point of view.
content
The inclusion of personal passion in learning provided a strong angle for your opinion on student choice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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