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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
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In today's modern world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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credit
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card
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 becomes
main
Add an article
the main
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 way to
purchase
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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goods and
this
Linking Words
method
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 makes more comfortable the shopping in megacentres. There
a
Add a missing verb
are a
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couple of benefits of using the
credit
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card
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method
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 which
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
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 the disadvantages of
this
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system
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.
This
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 essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
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 positive sides of
this
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method
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 of
purchase
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. In the
first
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 place, the
credit
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card
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system
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 can demonstrate the person's expenses during a month.
This
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system
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also
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show
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shows
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 the date, shop's name, goods' name and amount of
money
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of
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for
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 all
purchase
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 from
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 to
last
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 one.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
system
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 can
provides
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provide
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 table
where
Correct word choice
that
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 illustrates the spheres of buying which might help the person decreases the
monthes'
Correct your spelling
months
 expenses.
For instance
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, most
of
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apply
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Change the capitalization
Kazakh
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kazakh
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the kazakh
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people
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 use
Kaspi
Correct article usage
the Kaspi
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credit
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card
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system
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 which has
friendly
Add an article
a friendly
the friendly
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 and understandable design for common
people
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. What is more, it is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
credit
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card
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 has
shares
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shared
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 for users and
this
Linking Words
 payment
method
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 makes safe
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
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more
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apply
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safer.
In addition
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, after some
purchases
Add a comma
,purchases
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 the shares might bring a multitude of bonuses on the
credit
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card
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 which
people
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 can spend on their needs.
For example
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, many companies like Halyk bank and Kaspi give bonuses to
Add an article
the user
a user
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user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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 for using the
credit
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card
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 of
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this bank
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these banks
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.
Moreover
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, today's
credit
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card
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 can be
more
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apply
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safer than
the
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apply
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real
money
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 due to the fact that the stolen
credit
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card
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 does not give
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to still much
money
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 because of the password. In conclusion,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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credit
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 cards play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 role in each person's daily life around the world. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 use
credit
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 cards due to the fact that
this
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method
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 of payment
provdies
Correct your spelling
provides
provided
 the
safness
Correct your spelling
safeness
sadness
 of
money
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 and it is
Change the article
the comfortablest
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comfortablest
Change the word
most comfortable
show examples
 way of
purchase
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 and that has many various shares for
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: