IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think university education is to prepare students for employment. Other people think university has other functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #education #students #employment #functions
While many people go to
universities
 to get a job, I strongly argue it has more functions rather than just
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
training for
Correct your spelling
employment
emplyment
Correct your spelling
employment
. I think one of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 significant
roll
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
 of
universities
 is a
research
 institute. The other is
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the storage of knowledge.
Universities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the place the scientists get together and can conduct
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 to find new theory, material and medicines which we do not know now. Some commercial
Correct your spelling
companies
company
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
research
 and development organizations, but they have it for money so
research
Correct article usage
the research
show examples
 topic is limited to applied science or applied engineering.
Although
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
research
 is important,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can do more fundamental
Correct your spelling
research
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
, which
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not make money in
short
Add an article
the short
show examples
 term but contributes to all of the people, thanks to the funding from the
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
.
Correct your spelling
Researchers
Reserchers
Correct your spelling
Researchers
 are
also
 important as their knowledge itself.
In addition
 to that, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
universities
Add an article
the universities
show examples
 have their
Correct your spelling
libraries
libralies
Correct your spelling
libraries
. People can go there and access
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 number of books. It shows the university acts as a storage of knowledge.
From
Change preposition
For
show examples
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
 I think
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 has more function than
Correct your spelling
preparing
praparing
Correct your spelling
preparing
 students for employment.
Submitted by masafumi.orz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: