IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some cities ban private cars from entering the center and force people to use bicycle and buses. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages

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In
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recent
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resent
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recent
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 years,
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technology
technalogy
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technology
 is really developing day by day especially
vehicle
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vehicles
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.
Therefore
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, majorities cities forbid personal automobile from
come
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coming
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 in downtown and the
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government
gaverment
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government
 emphasize, humans should
be utilise
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be utilised
be utilising
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 bike and autobus when they walk
in
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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downtown. I believe that
,
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 way is extremely useful for mankind. In
this
Linking Words
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essay
easy
eassy
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essay
, I will examine both pros and cons of
this
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 can controversial issue. There are a number of significant benefits of
Use synonyms
use
Change the form of the verb
using
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motorbike and buses when they entering in the town.
Linking Words
First
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,First
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Correct your spelling
of
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if
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of
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 all, if humans utilise
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a bike
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bike
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bikes
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, it will prevent traffic
jam
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jams
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 in
city
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the city
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center
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centre
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.
Also
Linking Words
, when
people
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use
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bike
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a bike
the bike
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 or buses
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instance
instens
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instead
 of
own
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their own
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car
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, it will be beneficial
our
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to our
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 environment because harmful substances emitted by
cars
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causes
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cause
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 air pollution.
For example
Linking Words
, in Singapore,
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car
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cars
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 are very expensive
therefore
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, many
people
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 prefer to
use
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motorbike
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motorbikes
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 and public
transports
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transport
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 than own
cars
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. So only rich
people
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 drive
own
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their own
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car
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 because the rent is high price
therefore
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, many poor
people
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 can not buy a
car
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.
Turing
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Turning
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 to the other side of
argument
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the argument
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 despite it
is benefits
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is benefiting
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 it
also
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 has it is
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a disadvantage
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disadvantage
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disadvantages
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
people
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use
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 private
cars
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, it is put
people
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's
life
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lives
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 in danger. According to statistics most accidents are caused by
cars
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 so millions of
people
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 are killed or disabled in
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car
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a car
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accident
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accidents
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 every year.
Moreover
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as a result
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 of the increase in
cars
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 traffic jams will
also
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 increase. In conclusion, if
people
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use
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 a lot of personal
cars
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, it will be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 the state budget. In my opinion, the
use
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 of bicycles is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for
people
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's health, and it is free of charge.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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