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Band 1

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?

#demand #energy #sources #oil #gas #people #places #areas
With the industrial revolution
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increasing，people have to boost their requirements
of
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for
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 oil and gas.There are still many remote and untouched places to be offered.People have no choice but to face the problems
about
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of
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double-edged
Add an article
a double-edged
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 sword.I absolutely think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.It is not clever and they just look ahead too much. The development of our energy exploitation must bring about too many problems
on
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in
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 the local environment.Local ecology and sustainable development will be turned a deaf ear to.
First
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,First
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 of foremost,the local hydrology and atmosphere
is
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are
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 destroyed by carbon emissions during mining.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 the pollution
to
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of
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soil
Correct article usage
the soil
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 can't be ignored by us at the same time.Water,
soil
Correct word choice
and soil
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 will be dirty and clean air becomes
haze
Add an article
a haze
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.Local biodiversity will be changed by strong pollution.
Although
 the exploitation and sale of energy can promote the rapid development of the local economy, the damage to the local environment is irreversible in the long run.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented
  • unspoiled
  • hydrocarbon exploration
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable energy
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • ecosystem conservation
  • indigenous rights
  • climate resilience
  • habitat destruction
  • infrastructure development
  • technological advancements
  • economic stimulus
  • social unrest
  • environmental conservation
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