Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

These days, certain individuals believe that the brutality on

and

computer

games

causes bad consequences in society. Another denies that elements have any significant influence on

people

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. In

this

essay, I am going to examine

this

question from both

Correct your spelling

points

pointss

Correct your spelling

points

of view and

then

give my own opinion on why I am inclined to support the former. On one side of the argument, there are

people

who argue the brutality of

and

computer

games

considerably outweighs them. The main reason for believing

this

is that

computer

games

can make citizens addicted.

In other words

, if

people

use it too much will become dependent on it so they will distance themselves from the outside

world

and immerse themselves in the virtual

world

. A compelling example is a student who addictive to

computer

games

and will neglect to study, which causes a decrease in learning results. Another reason is that

can convey a flotilla of bad

news

that affect on person's mental health.

For some

Change preposition

Some

show examples

uncensored channels, they may give false information about the

world

related to hot issues, making citizens feel confused and worried

On the other hand

, it is

also

possible to make an opposing case.

Computer

games

are one of the transport for entertainment.

In other words

people

can use it to entertain themselves for constant working hours so it can help them to relax. A compelling example would be that learners usually spent from 30 minutes to 1 hour per day

to play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

computer

games

for relaxing, which can help them to lie down after a long time studying,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can help them to remember knowledge easier. A

second

point is that

is one kind of transport contract

people

with the word, which can update the domestic and global

news

Therefore

it can help

people

to know about the

news

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the

world

. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,

however

, I feel that

and

computer

games

give for

negative

Add an article

a negative

the negative

show examples

effect on

social

Replace the word

society

show examples

and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

, too.

This

is because it can addictive for

people

and convey

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bad

news

However

, it is recommended that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

balance

between

Change preposition

apply

show examples

using these things and daily life so that it can give some positive effect on society.

Submitted by thaiannt on Sat Nov 26 2022

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

382 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Cooking food is a waste of time in today’s hectic life. Fast food restaurants are helpful in modern living and it is less stressful. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc.to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?