Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Raising children into mature and successful adults is a big responsibility. Nowadays people believe that the main influence on children’s development is their
friends
, music and TV Use synonyms
show
. Others opine that the family have the critical factors influencing their kids. In my Fix the agreement mistake
shows
opinion
I totally agree with the second view, and in Add a comma
opinion,
this
Linking Words
essay
I will explain why and draw my own conclusion.
First of all , children spend much of their time with their Add a comma
essay,
parents
and can easily get their behaviours. The reason behind Use synonyms
this
is that Linking Words
parents
have the most responsibility to deal with their children in every moment of life . Use synonyms
For example
, if the Linking Words
parents
have good and healthy behaviour in their relationship and respect each other in every view or point the child will be more understanding and will respect his siblings and Use synonyms
friends
. Another reason is that Use synonyms
parents
spend most of their time teaching their kids and they see them in all situations that they face .
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, these days the majority of young people are not spending time staying at home as teenagers in the past ,and they prefer to hang out with a friend or their pupils in school and Linking Words
that is
one reason to react and gain their behaviour. One example to prove Linking Words
this
is that many researchers from Oxford University found that the child’s career and his future depend on his Linking Words
friends
and who is hanging out with. Use synonyms
For instance
, if it is the child has Linking Words
friends
whom they study very well and work hard to have high grades he will challenge himself to be like them as much as possible .
In conclusion, Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
friends
and television play a role in children’s behaviour. Family and Use synonyms
parents
have huge factors to influence their children’s development .Use synonyms
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task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to summarize your main points and provide a clear direction in the introduction and conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite