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Some people move to other countries when they retire. Others think it is better to retire in their home country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #move #countries #home #country
Some senior citizens try to move their residence area after retirement because of personal reasons.
However
, others believe that it is good to remain in their hometown when
people
 get older. I personally claim that changing the environment by moving to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 society could be helpful to refresh their mind in terms of having new experiences and finding an appropriate place of their own. On one hand, many
crowd
Change to a plural noun
crowds
show examples
 who retire from work want to live in other countries to refresh themselves. Employees may have fixed routines for working, even though they do not have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in it.
Hence
, immigration would be a good chance to get new experiences and places that fit their interest after retirement. Those attempts might influence the rest of their lives.
On the other hand
, settling in their hometown is preferred by some old population. They might think that surrounding by a familiar environment can give them relaxation and comfort. Those atmospheres tend to be needed for society who are exhausted from work and life. Those
people
 may want to be relaxed by already-known neighbours and scenery. In my opinion, older
people
 might need more experience to find their own. At an early age, it would be hard to search for interests or preferences.
This
 is because workers have difficulties balancing work and daily life.
However
, after retirement, I personally claim that it is important to find out what is needed or what I want. By moving to land, they can broaden their views by encountering various situations and
people
 might discover themselves. They can know which place would be appropriate for the rest of their lives and what they actually want to do. When they do not focus on themselves, it could be hard to contend with their entire life, even if they have money and time. In
this
 context, they should try some new experiences by moving to other countries to find their own identities. In conclusion, some retired
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 are likely to have familiar
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and environments when they get old. Meanwhile, I personally suggest that immigration could be a better choice when they want to know themselves more and find out what they want or where they live by experiencing many things.
Submitted by erimkim on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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