Parents of obese children shouldbe punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
Nowaday
, Correct your spelling
Nowadays
obese
Replace the word
obesity
in
Change preposition
apply
children
is
met more than in the past. Some people believe Correct subject-verb agreement
are
that is
a
wrong Remove the article
apply
of
parents to make Change preposition
for
children
Correct your spelling
overweight
overwieght
, and they should be punished. In my perspective, I disagree with Correct your spelling
overweight
this
idea in
many reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached.
Change preposition
for
Firstly
,obese
might be passed by Replace the word
obesity
Correct article usage
the family's
family's
genes. It is undeniable that Change noun form
family
genetic
is the main key to Replace the word
genetics
send
some Wrong verb form
sending
disease
to Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
next
generations. Correct article usage
the next
For example
, Thai
Medical Journal state that more than 50% of families which have obesity, Correct article usage
the Thai
their
Correct word choice
and their
children
tend to be the same. Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therefor
, people should not be judged by Correct your spelling
Therefore
Correct your spelling
genetic
genatic
passing system.
Correct article usage
the genatic
Secondly
,lack of some
nutrition make obesity in living things. There are many Correct quantifier usage
apply
nutients
that Correct your spelling
nutrients
not
enough for diet in daily life. Add a missing verb
are not
Such
as Correct your spelling
protein
protien
play Correct your spelling
proteins
significant
role to build Correct article usage
a significant
newly
cells and fix throughout of body. Many parents can not support perfect Replace the word
new
Correct your spelling
meals
males
maels
for Correct your spelling
meals
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
children
lead to loss
Correct article usage
the loss
insulin
Change preposition
of insulin
Correct your spelling
receptors
recepters
which control sugar in their blood. Correct your spelling
receptors
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therefor
, it is unfair to punish Correct your spelling
Therefore
Add an article
the parent
parent
who Fix the agreement mistake
parents
make
Change the verb form
makes
children
have Correct pronoun usage
their children
Correct your spelling
overweight
overweigh
overwiegh
due to they give Correct your spelling
overweight
uncomplete
Correct your spelling
incomplete
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutition
foods Correct your spelling
nutritious
for
Change preposition
to
Correct your spelling
their
thier
kids.
In conclusion, each family have specific genes in their family tree Correct your spelling
their
might
be passed to Correct pronoun usage
that might
next
generations which Correct article usage
the next
hard
to Add a missing verb
is hard
Correct your spelling
avoid
aviod
, Correct your spelling
avoid
moreover
, they have
not equal Add a missing verb
do have
knowledges
and Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
wealthy
to support optimal nutrient in their Replace the word
wealth
children
's foods. Nobody should not
be punished due to their Rewrite the sentence
apply
children
obese
.Add a missing verb
being obese
Submitted by k.kamonkan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!