Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Nowadays, there has been a notable surge in the depiction of
violence
across various forms of media
, inducing
television and computer Verb problem
including
games
.While
,
some people believe that Remove the comma
apply
this
trend carries alarming implications, others argue that it holds negligible sway over the
society.Personally, I maintain the perspective that Correct article usage
apply
media
violence
exerts minimal influence on human behavior
.
First of all, I think that a community's Change the spelling
behaviour
behavior
is primarily driven by their personal motives and character rather than by what they see in the Change the spelling
behaviour
media
. Whilist
, it's true that individual factors play a significant role in shaping Correct your spelling
While
behavior
, it's Change the spelling
behaviour
also
important to consider the cumulative effect of repeated exposure to violent media
content, especially on vulnerable individuals such
as children or those predisposed to aggression. Secondly
, competing programs and games
could provide experiences when a similar situation comes. In fact, the development in
Change preposition
of
Correct article usage
a virtual-world
virtual-world
allows individuals to express their combative spirit and hone combat Correct your spelling
virtual world
skill
in a virtual environment that makes them more confident against dangerous accidents. Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Finally
, while
individuals may be influenced by violent video games
or cinema, especially with frequent and prolonged exposure, there are various recommendations and suggestions proposed to ensure their well-being. For instance
, it has been observed that online games
are now required to implement time controls for users, providing us with a favorable
opportunity to avoid potential issues.
In conclusion, I would confirm that Change the spelling
favourable
violence
in the media
has no effect on people’s behavior
. The social Change the spelling
behaviour
violence
that happens in the real world depends on people’s character. Media
such
as television and video games
are not considered as the main factors that shape personal character, and they can be even useful in reducing the level of violence
.Submitted by trancaomaitrang on
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task achievement
Consider incorporating more concrete examples and research findings to strengthen your arguments. While your essay presents a clear stance, supporting your points with evidence could make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Use more varied linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, creating a more seamless reading experience.
task achievement
You present a clear and well-defined thesis statement, articulating your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
You effectively maintain a logical flow throughout your essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion