Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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Nowadays, there has been a notable surge in the depiction of
violence
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across various forms of
media
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,
inducing
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including
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television and computer
games
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.
While
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,
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apply
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some people believe that
this
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trend carries alarming implications, others argue that it holds negligible sway over
the
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apply
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society.Personally, I maintain the perspective that
media
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violence
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exerts minimal influence on human
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behavior
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behaviour
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. First of all, I think that a community's
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behavior
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behaviour
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is primarily driven by their personal motives and character rather than by what they see in the
media
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.
Whilist
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While
, it's true that individual factors play a significant role in shaping
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, it's
also
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important to consider the cumulative effect of repeated exposure to violent
media
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content, especially on vulnerable individuals
such
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as children or those predisposed to aggression.
Secondly
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, competing programs and
games
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could provide experiences when a similar situation comes. In fact, the development
in
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of
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a virtual-world
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virtual-world
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virtual world
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allows individuals to express their combative spirit and hone combat
skill
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skills
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in a virtual environment that makes them more confident against dangerous accidents.
Finally
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,
while
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individuals may be influenced by violent video
games
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or cinema, especially with frequent and prolonged exposure, there are various recommendations and suggestions proposed to ensure their well-being.
For instance
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, it has been observed that online
games
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are now required to implement time controls for users, providing us with a
favorable
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favourable
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opportunity to avoid potential issues.  In conclusion, I would confirm that
violence
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in the
media
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has no effect on people’s
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behavior
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behaviour
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. The social
violence
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that happens in the real world depends on people’s character.
Media
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such
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as television and video
games
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are not considered as the main factors that shape personal character, and they can be even useful in reducing the level of
violence
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.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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task achievement
Consider incorporating more concrete examples and research findings to strengthen your arguments. While your essay presents a clear stance, supporting your points with evidence could make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Use more varied linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, creating a more seamless reading experience.
task achievement
You present a clear and well-defined thesis statement, articulating your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
You effectively maintain a logical flow throughout your essay, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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