Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

People

Use synonyms

hold conflicting views about whether the

violence

Use synonyms

from programmes on

television

Use synonyms

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

can lead to detrimental impacts on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

life

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

I'm

Correct your spelling

my opinion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree that

these factor

Change the determiner

this factor

these factors

show examples

will not

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

harm

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the whole

society

Change preposition

of society

show examples

. On the one hand, there are several reasons why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is

Correct your spelling

affected

afected

Correct your spelling

affected

by the

violence

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

and

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

of all,

people

Use synonyms

, especially the youth,

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

frequently follows what happens on

television

Use synonyms

's screen or

video

Change preposition

in video

show examples

game acting.

This

Linking Words

trend can affect badly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

users,

such

Linking Words

escape

Wrong verb form

escaping

show examples

the reality of real

life

Use synonyms

and

behave

Wrong verb form

behaving

show examples

unusually .

Also

Linking Words

, they even rust their moral principles and

Correct your spelling

characteristics

characterics

Correct your spelling

characteristics

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

spend most of their free time either watching

television

Use synonyms

or playing

computer

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

, which results in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

shortage of time management for working or studying.

For example

Linking Words

, students will be

attractive

Replace the word

attracted

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

these factors and neglect their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

and in the end, they may get bad marks and even drop out of

Correct your spelling

school

schoo

Correct your spelling

school

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I

Correct your spelling

presume

pesume

Correct your spelling

presume

that

this

Linking Words

situation will be much more beneficial for

people

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can widen their knowledge from these factors.I

means

Change the verb form

mean

show examples

that If

people

Use synonyms

are exposed to

such

Linking Words

violent actions , they might learn from them,

such

Linking Words

as gaining awareness and having their own protective methods. In

reversal

Replace the word

reverse

show examples

, some

people

Use synonyms

; who

are not regularly watch

Change the verb form

do not regularly watch

show examples

violent actions and

Games

Use synonyms

, may find difficulty in dealing with

violence

Use synonyms

in real

life

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

violence

Use synonyms

from

television

Use synonyms

and

Computer

Use synonyms

Games

Use synonyms

are reliable to improve and enhance

people

Use synonyms

's development in the way to encounter.

This

Linking Words

is because these

channel

Fix the agreement mistake

channels

show examples

and

Games

Use synonyms

are investigated seriously and published officially.As a consequence,

people

Use synonyms

can feel comfortable and consider these things as valuable lessons in

life

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

many

people

Use synonyms

presume that

violence

Use synonyms

from

television

Use synonyms

and

Games

Use synonyms

are hazardous

threatens

Replace the word

threats

show examples

.I believe that these violent actions will be much more positive for the whole

society

Change preposition

of society

show examples

Submitted by thaiannt on Mon Nov 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

315 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Schools should have financial management as a compulsory subject to their curriculum. This essay strongly believes in this idea because it is to prepare young ones to be mindful about money and they can create financial plans for their life.
7.5
band
It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?
We have often seen that, in many organisations, there are people who are of varying ages who work with each other in the same group, and in my opinion, there are more benefits of this trend than negatives which I will discuss in my essay.
4.5
band
Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems.Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment,whileothers believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Technologies and sciences play a significant role in the improvement of ecosystem. However, there are pro side who thinks that it is better to live as simple as it is to prevent bad things happen, whereas the con side is stand in the contrast area which prefer to carry out theory basis approach for solving the environmental issues. Overall, both has its points and the writer also has it own perspective.
4.5
band
Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people believe that teenagers can learn fundamental skills by working part-time. While others say that teenagers must spend their time by taking rest. Though teenagers can earn money and learn how to be disciplined, in my opinion, they have A0 spend their time on leisure activities and school activities for their intellectual and crective develooment
7
band
In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe that research on the previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on the present and future generation. Discuss and opinion.
It is true that family background always plays a crucial role in one's behaviour. Nowadays, seeking a family background seems to be an intellectual conflict in certain parts of the globe. While defenders argue that there are a number of beneficial outcomes in this notion, opponents express that it is futile. In my point of view, both ideologies are worth supporting. This essay delves into these statements and expresses my outlook before drawing a reasonable conclusion.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems.Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment,whileothers believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe that research on the previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on the present and future generation. Discuss and opinion.