IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

mployers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these vies and give your own opinion.

#mployers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
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Getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work these
day
Change the determiner
days
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 require
to answer
Change the verb form
answering
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 some personal questions
such
Linking Words
 as interests,
Correct your spelling
marital
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martial
Correct your spelling
marital
show examples
 status,
non work
Add a hyphen
non-work
show examples
 related pleasures etc, which some people argue is
irrelevant
Add an article
an irrelevant
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 question while other feel these are important to know the overall character. I strongly agree these personal questions define the
compatability
Correct your spelling
compatibility
 of a
person
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, some people feel that
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 should have little concern
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 one's personal life. Personal information can be misused and create biased decisions. Taking an example of
Australian
Correct article usage
an Australian
show examples
 resume whose standard format does not include any personal information. They believe in the notion that
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
 should only look for skillsets required and right to privacy is given priority.
This
Linking Words
 way
someones
Change to a genitive case
someone's
show examples
 gender or sexuality
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not discriminated against and the level playing field is equal.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 we know about the
person
Use synonyms
 less
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
margin
Correct quantifier usage
less margin
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 of
errors
Fix the agreement mistake
error
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.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 a
person
Use synonyms
 who has no social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 cannot be an advantage to the company. Simple things
such
Linking Words
 as
martial
Correct your spelling
marital
show examples
 status can tell if the
person
Use synonyms
 is used to
responsibilities
Correct article usage
the responsibilities
show examples
 of married life. A good recruiter takes every hiring as a piece of
pussle
Correct your spelling
puzzle
 and
see
Change the verb form
sees
show examples
 where it can be the right fit In conclusion, additional information will help in making
informed
Add an article
an informed
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. Being on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
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 of the table as
worker
Add an article
a worker
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 and as a
boss
Add a comma
,boss
show examples
 there are certain responsibilities in each role which requires the best
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
judgement and knowing more always helps.
Submitted by vasudev.dutta on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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