IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

mployers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these vies and give your own opinion.

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
Getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
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work these
day
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days
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 require
to answer
Change the verb form
answering
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 some personal questions
such
Linking Words
 as interests,
Correct your spelling
marital
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martial
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marital
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 status,
non work
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non-work
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 related pleasures etc, which some people argue is
irrelevant
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an irrelevant
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 question while other feel these are important to know the overall character.
Body paragraph 1
I strongly agree these personal questions define the
compatability
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compatibility
 of a
person
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.
Body paragraph 2
First
Linking Words
 of all, some people feel that
employer
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employers
show examples
 should have little concern
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 one's personal life. Personal information can be misused and create biased decisions. Taking an example of
Australian
Correct article usage
an Australian
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 resume whose standard format does not include any personal information.
Body paragraph 3
They believe in the notion that
employer
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employers
show examples
 should only look for skillsets required and right to privacy is given priority.
Body paragraph 4
This
Linking Words
 way
someones
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someone's
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 gender or sexuality
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not discriminated against and the level playing field is equal.
Body paragraph 5
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 we know about the
person
Use synonyms
 less
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
margin
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less margin
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 of
errors
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error
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.
For
Linking Words
example
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,example
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 a
person
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 who has no social
skill
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skills
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 cannot be an advantage to the company. Simple things
such
Linking Words
 as
martial
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marital
show examples
 status can tell if the
person
Use synonyms
 is used to
responsibilities
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the responsibilities
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 of married life. A good recruiter takes every hiring as a piece of
pussle
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puzzle
 and
see
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sees
show examples
 where it can be the right fit
Conclusion
In conclusion, additional information will help in making
informed
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an informed
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decision
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decisions
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. Being on
the
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apply
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both
side
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sides
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 of the table as
worker
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a worker
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 and as a
boss
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,boss
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 there are certain responsibilities in each role which requires the best
of
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apply
show examples
judgement and knowing more always helps.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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