Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
There has been an assumption claiming that some scenes on television or in computer
games
that contain Use synonyms
brutality
Replace the word
brutal
contents
would trigger several detrimental effects Fix the agreement mistake
content
to
our society, Change preposition
on
others
are adamant that it does not bring any remarkable influence. While many rationales are given behind Correct word choice
while others
this
proposal, I suppose that Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
side
have Change to a plural noun
sides
its
own merits and demerits and I would like to Correct pronoun usage
their
further
elaborate Linking Words
Use synonyms
both
Change preposition
on both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
on
my essay. Change preposition
in
To begin
with, Linking Words
an
primary reason which makes Change the article
a
mostly
Replace the word
most
people
conclude like the Use synonyms
first
statement is that these kinds of films or Linking Words
games
can create some enthusiasm feeling making Use synonyms
people
easily get addicted, which prevents them from performing well Use synonyms
on
their study or work and later ruin their future as a consequence . Change preposition
in
Additionally
, once the posterities interact with Linking Words
Linking Words
this
unhealthy activities, it would spell out Correct determiner usage
these
for
many troubles. One of the problems is that they would think what the characters did is cool and start to imitate them, which greatly Change preposition
apply
affect
their lifestyle after. Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
However
, Linking Words
people
who stand for the other side Use synonyms
also
have their own justification. Apparently, Linking Words
people
who Use synonyms
are legally watch
these kinds of content must Change the verb form
are legally watching
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
be
mature Change the verb form
been
both
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
physical
and Change the word
physically
mental
and Change the word
mentally
and
it is challenging to link them to the illicit Remove the redundancy
apply
behaviors
that flow from virtual life into the actual world. The majority of Change the spelling
behaviours
people
in Use synonyms
this
age group only watch Linking Words
this
for enjoyment after successfully fleeing from Linking Words
Correct article usage
a job
job
or studies, or simply out of curiosity. The fact that individuals often behave according to their motivations rather than in response to Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
specific
movie or video game sequences is another important consideration. Add an article
a specific
People
with a good or enough educational background would already know what to do and what not to do, and those who are the opposite would maintain their initial goals. Use synonyms
Take
everything into consideration, even if Wrong verb form
Taking
both
sides have their advantages, I think that the violence depicted on television or in video Use synonyms
games
won't have a significant impact on the future generation. Their living situation and parents had the most impact on them. Without watching violent movies or playing violent video Use synonyms
games
, they are likely to develop like Use synonyms
such
if they live with an aggressive couple and several misbehaving children.Linking Words
Submitted by thaiannt on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion