Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

People
have differing views about whether social media and PC
games
have brought
violence
in our community or
these
Correct word choice
whether these
show examples
trends are not related to how
people
act. Recently,
this
phenomenon has been brought to public attention with
people
standing on two different sides. On one side of the argument, there are many who claim youth crime is not related to TV and video
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
use. In fact, there are a huge number of hidden problems behind the impoliteness and the anger of a child
such
as family troubles or education.
For instance
, a kid that has been bullied can have a tendency to cruelly treat others and vice versa with beloved children.
On the other hand
, others maintain the idea that spending hours either watching and playing violent movies or
games
have contributed to changes in some
people
's personality.
People
speculate
this
might be due to the fact that
people
can try to copy what they have seen on television. Another point is that
people
who consume lots of violent shows become less sympathetic towards victims of
violence
. The reason why
people
may become too tolerant towards
violence
is that they become desensitized to
violence
over time. In conclusion, while someone
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that TV and PC
games
do not have any impact on our quality of life in our society, I support the opinion that these technological devices have worsened our life because they changed us negatively.
Submitted by thaiannt on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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