IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries it is very easy to apply for and be given credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debt they cannot pay back. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #credit #card #people #debt
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 are becoming increasingly popular as banks are offering them to anyone who has a job. According to my view,
although
Linking Words
 a
credit
Use synonyms
 card is useful to buy something important when you have run out of money, it makes
people
Use synonyms
 owe a lot of money to banks which they are unable to pay off.
Credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 have become a necessity among
people
Use synonyms
 who love to shop. It is an easy way to buy an item instantly without worrying about the cost as you are offered the chance to pay it back in instalments using the cashless payment method. Many feel that it is convenient to pay for a thing in portions rather than paying the full amount at once.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to purchase expensive mobile phones using bank
cards
Use synonyms
 and pay the bill in affordable instalments for months while using them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 service is a trap in disguise which pushes
people
Use synonyms
 into debt. Because of the higher cash limits of the
cards
Use synonyms
, shoppers tend to buy even unnecessary things which
Change the verb form
result
show examples
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
show examples
 a big instalment.
However
Linking Words
, most of the time instalment payment becomes difficult with other essential expenses.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 owe a considerable amount of cash to banks making them debtors.
For instance
Linking Words
, it seems attractive to purchase a trendy phone using a card using 12 monthly payment options.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, if at least one instalment got late
then
Linking Words
 the amount that has to pay may become more than the original price of the phone. In conclusion, I strongly advocate that the disadvantages of
credit
Use synonyms
cards
Use synonyms
 outweigh the advantages. Even if it becomes handy to purchase something important when you have no money at hand, it is one of the main reasons half of society is the debtors of a bank.
Submitted by suechathu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: