Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

It is true that everyone will encounter various bad conditions throughout their whole life. how
people
should confront them is a problem. Accepting a bad
situation
is regarded as the best way by some
people
,but others believe that trying and improving it must be the better approach. I consider that
people
should improve themselves if they face some bad conditions through some solution
such
as studying. When
people
encountering
Wrong verb form
encounter
show examples
some bad situations will be
dismay
Wrong verb form
dismayed
show examples
,
accepting
Correct word choice
and accepting
show examples
will lead to it
more and more worse
Change the word
worse and worse
worse
show examples
. Because if
people
do nothing , they will be unable to earn more money and they cannot find a better
job
to solve the unsatisfactory one. Generally speaking, if some bad conditions happen to a young person,there would be some shortage of him.
For example
, if he does not satisfy his
job
, doing nothing would not improve the
situation
. Accepting it will not change anything,but make it worse. But improving himself with some solution
such
as studying, and training will result in a better condition even a reverse. The more skills they have , the more good things will happen.
For instance
, by studying some professional skills ,a young man with a shortage of money will improve himself , earning more money. Attending a series of training ,a young man
unsatisfactory
Replace the word
unsatisfied
show examples
with his
job
will change the bad condition
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
a new
job
. In conclusion, I believe that accepting a bad
situation
is not
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
, for it contributes to the bad
situation
worse.
However
, as his improvement of himself begin to occur , a bad
situation
will change .
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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