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Band 5

Study show that criminals have a low level of education. For this reason some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or diagree?

#study #show #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job #diagree
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In recent decades, many researchers have argued that
criminals
 need to be educated while they are in the
prison
 to prepare for the time when they come out to society. Indeed,
to
Change preposition
in
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 my mind, enhancing the level of
education
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the education
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 system in the
prison
 is significantly important to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals from getting crimes. In
this
 essay, I would like to show
that
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apply
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how
reaserches
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researchers
researches
 support
this
 view.
Firstly
, US International Crime Bureau has
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researched
reaserched
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researched
that
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apply
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how
education
 systems affect
to
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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prisoners in
regards
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regard
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 to the percentage of recurrence of crimes. They found that the regular and repeated learning process to adapt
on
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to
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 the society in the
prison
 clearly makes the
criminals
 find a job or career for their own life outside of the
prison
. Since
this
 provides
the
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a
show examples
 better understanding of social
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activities
activicites
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activities
 and how the world has
been
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apply
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changed, most
of
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apply
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prisoners
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the prisoners
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 tend to keep economical activities after they leave
prison
.
In addition
 to
this
, the reason why the
criminals
 took illegal actions
such
 as murder and house or
bank-robbery
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bank robbery
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 was they didn't realise
that is
 an actual crime. The
Australia
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Australian
show examples
 police department showed that
criminals
has
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have
show examples
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tendency
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a tendancy
show examples
tendancy
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tendency
 to commit
a
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apply
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crime because of
the
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a
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 lack of
education
.
Such
 as drugs or unlawful injections used to happen in
the
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apply
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places which don't have schools or academic institutions around.
Therefore
, the department has
Correct your spelling
claimed
calmed
clamed
Correct your spelling
claimed
 that providing
Correct your spelling
education
edcuation
Correct your spelling
education
 programs in the
prison
 will improve and increase the quality of their outside-
prison
 life. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that
the
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apply
show examples
governments need to offer a proper
education
 program for
criminals
 to fit in a workplace or society.
Submitted by mix5777 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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