IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, people prefer to throw damaged items away, while in the past, they used to repair and use things for a long time. Why do you think this change has happened? What are the effects of this change?

Nowadays, it has been observed that non-functional items are discarded.
While
Linking Words
 in the past,
such
Linking Words
 things were made functional and preserved for later use.
This
Linking Words
 deviation in the practice has become common for the reason that these days, the material consumed in the making is not of good quality as it used to be in the past.
This
Linking Words
 essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 reflect on how
this
Linking Words
 has influenced our lives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that things which are not being used should be thrown away rather
keeping them
Verb problem
than kept
show examples
. Collecting
such
Linking Words
 spare items will occupy the space and will only lead to clutter.
Such
Linking Words
 spare commodities can make it difficult to find important stuff
in
Punctuation problem
; in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
person would end up being frustrated. One illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is that a drawer full of rusted tools and a broken hammer will appear messy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it would eventually create a poor way of management.
This
Linking Words
 shift in the conventional practice has come into being for a reason. The items that companies are manufacturing these days are of low standards. If we compare it with the things that were bought in the past,
then
Linking Words
 I must say that those were more durable and
hence
Linking Words
, cost-effective. But, in the present
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
world
these
Punctuation problem
, these
show examples
 only
last
Linking Words
 for
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a few uses and a person needs to buy a new one. Afterwards, they don't function
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the consumer is compelled to throw
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 away.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 increases the amount of non-degradable waste material and eventually becomes harmful to the ecosystem. In general, it is indeed a moot
which
Check wording
point which
show examples
 needs
further
Linking Words
 argumentation and discussion.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that decluttering has a time-tested significance which cannot be denied.

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structure
Plan before you write. Make a short plan with intro, 2-3 body points, and a ending.
development
In each paragraph, start with a clear point, then explain it, and give an example.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show flow: First, Also, But, So. This helps readers follow.
grammar
Keep sentences short. Use easy words. Check tense and article use.
task response
End with a short conclusion that repeats your view and the main effect.
task response
The essay tries to answer both parts of the question.
coherence
There is some use of link words like First and In general.
development
One example is given about a drawer of rusted tools.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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