IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As well as making money, businesses have social reponsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #reponsibilities
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One of the main
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 in
business
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of making
money
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is social
responsibility
Use synonyms
. Does it true or not ? Personally, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
,Initially
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 of course making
money
Use synonyms
 it is the main feature of
the
Remove the article
apply
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any
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
show examples
 and
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
the business
a business
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 would not make
money
Use synonyms
business
Use synonyms
 could not survive.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in many cases
business
Use synonyms
 is built to make
money
Use synonyms
 , I
thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 it is the main interest of the founder or owner.
However
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of making
money
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 should have
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
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 because without
this
Linking Words
 goal
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 would not be successful . I mean that it should be useful for society
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 example if
Use synonyms
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
 something
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 is not useful for society and it is not popular among
people
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 do not need it how
Use synonyms
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
 will
be exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
? So that means that
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is
business
Use synonyms
produce
Replace the word
products
show examples
 should be useful and society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
this
Linking Words
 product.
Secondly
Linking Words
 to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 a really successful and popular
company
Use synonyms
for instance
Linking Words
like
Change preposition
apply
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Apple or Coca Cola etc. your
company
Use synonyms
/
business
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to have
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 own principles and ideas which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
your
business
Use synonyms
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to show
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 whole world.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example you understand that
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 pass out because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lungs'
Change noun form
lungs
show examples
 cancer which is
Correct your spelling
cause
couse
Correct your spelling
caused
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking cigarettes and your
company
Use synonyms
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
 products or
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
show examples
 some advertisement thanks to
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can decrease
Correct your spelling
their
theire
Correct your spelling
their
 consumption of
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
cigarets
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
.
That is
Linking Words
 what I personally reckon is social
responsibility
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if you have
your
Change the word
a
show examples
 small
start
Add a hyphen
start-up
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 bakery near your house and you have not got a big client base , I think it is not necessary to have social
responsibility
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, if you want
make
Add the particle
to make
show examples
 a giant
company
Use synonyms
 and become
first
Linking Words
 in the market you must have social
responsibility
Use synonyms
. But if you
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of building your
company
Use synonyms
 and you have your own small
start
Add a hyphen
start-up
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it is not obligatory
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
social
Add an article
a social
show examples
responsibility
Use synonyms
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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