IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The tabel below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feautures and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
The given
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travel
tabel
Correct your spelling
table
 illustrates
amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of people whose employed in six different types of
industries
Use synonyms
 in
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1989 and 2009.
Body paragraph 1
It is clear that in 1989 manufacturing and making goods stood
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Linking Words
 place and tourism proportion was 5.5%. Two decades later health care increased gradually and the number was 11.3
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of 2009 workforce employment.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
 1989 tourism
also
Linking Words
 stood at the lowest rank
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 6 different
Correct your spelling
business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
.
Body paragraph 2
Manufacturing and retail are the
first
Linking Words
 and
second
Linking Words
industries
Use synonyms
 in the workforce employed in 1989 and both of them saw a moderate decline in 2009. Manufacturing went down just over five
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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which is the biggest
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all six.
Body paragraph 3
Health care percentage was 9.6% in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1989 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
11.3% in the
next
Linking Words
 twenty years. along
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
increasing
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increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 health care
another
Replace the adjective
another industry
other industries
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industries
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 climbed in
this
Linking Words
 period of time,
for example
Linking Words
: Education proportion of the employment percentage reduced
1.8
Change preposition
by 1.8
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%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 time and tourism
growth
Replace the word
grew
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 as same as education.
Conclusion
Overall, different
industries
Use synonyms
 experienced a
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
show examples
 rate in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 20 years and their numbers changed.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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