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Band 2.5

The tabel below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feautures and make comparisons where relevant.

#tabel #information #percentage #workforce #six #industries #australia #summarise #feautures #comparisons
The given
Correct your spelling
travel
tabel
Correct your spelling
table
 illustrates
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of people whose employed in six different types of
industries
 in
australia
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Australia
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at
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in
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 1989 and 2009. It is clear that in 1989 manufacturing and making goods stood
at
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in
show examples
first
 place and tourism proportion was 5.5%. Two decades later health care increased gradually and the number was 11.3
percent
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per cent
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 of 2009 workforce employment.
As
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In
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 1989 tourism
also
 stood at the lowest rank
between
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among
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 6 different
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business
bussiness
Correct your spelling
businesses
. Manufacturing and retail are the
first
 and
second
industries
 in the workforce employed in 1989 and both of them saw a moderate decline in 2009. Manufacturing went down just over five
percent
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per cent
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which is the biggest
between
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among
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 all six. Health care percentage was 9.6% in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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1989 and reached
to
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apply
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11.3% in the
next
 twenty years. along
the
Change preposition
with the
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increasing
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increase
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of
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in
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 health care
another
Replace the adjective
another industry
other industries
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industries
also
 climbed in
this
 period of time,
for example
: Education proportion of the employment percentage reduced
1.8
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by 1.8
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%
in
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apply
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this
 time and tourism
growth
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grew
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 as same as education. Overall, different
industries
 experienced a
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
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 rate in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 20 years and their numbers changed.
Submitted by melika7amouian9 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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