Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our modern era,due to advanced
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
a number of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
prefer to carry their cash for trading,job or folks with their mobile devices and network connection, which I see as a benefit for our society.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss the reasons for it and give some light on whether it is a positive or a negative trend.
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
Ther
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
is no doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are a plethora of financial institutions all over
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
then
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
globe and each person
is utilize
Change the verb form
utilizes
show examples
one of them.
Hence
Linking Words
,the issue is that it is inconceivable for our lender to be present everywhere we need it to be.
As a result
Linking Words
, especially if the creditor is far from one another, we cannot constantly spend resources and time transferring there.
For instance
Linking Words
,
citizens
Correct word choice
if citizens
show examples
wanted to conduct transactions in a foreign nation but their
bank
Use synonyms
didn't have any local offices, internet banking would enable them to wire funds using only their broadband connection as they wouldn't have been able to physically travel to the
bank
Use synonyms
at that moment. To be sure,online remittances have many positive effects on society.
Previous
Change the word
Previously
show examples
,depositing borrowing from folks, relatives, or enterprises required a visit to a
bank
Use synonyms
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
waiting in
queue
Add an article
the queue
a queue
show examples
, and the completion of detailed info. Individuals can now send money to another person using a
mastercard
Correct your spelling
MasterCard
Mastercard
or deposit from a different
bank
Use synonyms
. Individuals spend less time doing something like
this
Linking Words
, which speeds up several trading activities in day-to-day life.
In other words
Linking Words
, the time saved is a crucial consideration for both individuals and organizations, and it is the fundamental reason why people now value internet banking. In
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
analysis,despite the need for caution and awareness of potential fraud, automated cash payments are unquestionably a desirable breakthrough.
Submitted by Premium Version on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: