Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,more and more human beings are having a hard time reaching
consensus
Correct article usage
a consensus
show examples
on whether utilizing the
internet
and mobile phones to transplant
money
is a positive or a negative trend among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
.As for me,I think that moving
money
is a positive development. There is no doubt that
recolating
Correct your spelling
relating
renovating
cash
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
social networking websites and phones
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
caused more merits than problems.For one thing,through
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
some
people
can help their family members and familiars.As a matter of fact,If anyone
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
to
depend
Add the preposition
ondepend
show examples
some
money
,her family help him
also
they live far country.
This
can be seen from the fact that in recent years 60%individuals employing
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and smartphones for moving their household or friends.
Besides
that If someone
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
poor and suffering
diseases
Change preposition
from diseases
show examples
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
they can help them don't know.
This
is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
very useful for genius
people
.If all
people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do
this
work,
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
impoverish
Replace the word
impoverished
show examples
people
in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
world.As an example, according to the data,now have 50%impoverish
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
in the world. To be sure,it has some negative aspects.
This
reasonable
Add a missing verb
is reasonable
show examples
to the
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
that
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
some
hukkers
Correct your spelling
chukkers
Add a missing verb
are araising
show examples
araising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
.They know many
people
's
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
stealing
Wrong verb form
steal
show examples
their
money
.A prime example of how
this
scheme works is through many countries
citizen's
Change noun form
citizens
show examples
suffered.That's why
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it increasing to steal all
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. In
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
analysis,despite the fact that put to using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
to
recolate
Correct your spelling
relate
collate
money
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to give
family
Change preposition
to family
show examples
and friends is a popular trend,it helps all
people
when it comes to communication,time management and mental health.For
this
reason,I am convinced that transferring
money
by
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
or
telephones
Fix the agreement mistake
telephone
show examples
is a positive development in general.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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