IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses.Is this a positive or negative development?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, online transaction is growing very rapidly, whereas
people
Use synonyms
 hardly use hand cash. Development of
this
Linking Words
 scenario has positive and negative
sides
Use synonyms
 and both
sides
Use synonyms
 discuss below. Nowadays, most
people
Use synonyms
 are using smartphones and they are most comfortable transferring
money
Use synonyms
 or
payment
Use synonyms
 via the
internet
Use synonyms
. The reason behind
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not like to carry cash on their own, they felt
this
Linking Words
 is an extra hassle and a waste of time. Via the
internet
Use synonyms
, they can order online and pay instantly and receive that particular product and service. Through
internet
Use synonyms
 transactions, they can calculate their least of
money
Use synonyms
. For businessmen, an online
payment
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 become a blessing. The online
system
Use synonyms
 makes business calculations very easier than before. It helps a business person calculate profit and loss in their business.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is some negative aspect that can stand up for online
payment
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, hacking is one of the most threatening situations for all. It is very easy to hack someone's account and withdraw
money
Use synonyms
. For online shopping, most
people
Use synonyms
 forget about their expenditures, and
therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 buy unnecessary things and waste their
money
Use synonyms
. To sum up, the
internet
Use synonyms
 and online transaction make our life easier, more convenient, and more comfortable than past.
Although
Linking Words
 it has some negative
sides
Use synonyms
, the positive
sides
Use synonyms
 are more acceptable if the
system
Use synonyms
 uses in a proper way. I prefer to use the
internet
Use synonyms
 and online
payment
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 to save
money
Use synonyms
 and time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: