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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that self employment is better than a job in a country or an institution. Discuss both modes of work and give your opinion.

#people #self #employment #job #country #institution #modes #work
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Several folks say that
Use synonyms
self employment
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
 is better than
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
show examples
 9-5
job
Use synonyms
 in a company owned by
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 or an institution. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 because it has
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 own
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 and
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
, it depends
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 many factors behind it. Working as a
self
Use synonyms
 employee whether it is
in
Add a hyphen
in-home
show examples
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 business or
technology related
Add a hyphen
technology-related
show examples
 business that can be done from
home
Use synonyms
, has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 own perks from not having to spare
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money for living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 especially if you are still living with your parent, transportation and meal
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
self employment
Add a hyphen
self-employment
show examples
 is harder to do if you dislike working by yourself and it is already proven that working from
home
Use synonyms
 has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer and
un-identifiable
Correct your spelling
unidentifiable
show examples
 working hours,
thus
Linking Words
, making the workers prone to get stress easier. The wage for
self
Use synonyms
employnment
Correct your spelling
employment
also
Linking Words
 oftentimes is not stable and has a higher risk if they get played by the clients.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, working
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
show examples
 9-5
job
Use synonyms
 even if it is costlier than from
home
Use synonyms
, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 own perks like
stable
Add an article
a stable
show examples
 income, interacting with coworkers and
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a chance to go outside from
home
Use synonyms
 and having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
me time after
work
Use synonyms
 hours end.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
 being costlier,
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 flaw
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 type of
work
Use synonyms
 is that if you have an atrocious boss or coworkers, you can suffer from it because there are many cases of
work
Use synonyms
 power
abusement
Replace the word
abuse
show examples
 and
Correct your spelling
harassment
harrasment
Correct your spelling
harassment
 that push the workers to quit.
The
Correct article usage
An
show examples
 example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 one of
national
Add an article
a national
the national
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 in Indonesia, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
power abuse by the rectorate to the professors, because they do not want to graduate
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
doctorate
Correct your spelling
candidate
canditate
Correct your spelling
candidate
.
This
Linking Words
 happens because
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 the professors, the candidate does not legible to graduate yet and it's already
Correct your spelling
backed
backen
Correct your spelling
backed
 up by logical reasons, but from the start the rectorate
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 the
Correct your spelling
candidate
canditate
Correct your spelling
candidate
 to graduate because they already got paid by the candidate. To sum up, I disagree that
self
Use synonyms
employnment
Correct your spelling
employment
 is better than a normal
job
Use synonyms
 because
besides
Linking Words
 depending on people which they prefer the most.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
thinking
Change the form of the verb
think
show examples
 that having a normal, stable
job
Use synonyms
 and proper
work
Use synonyms
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 is way more important and
secured
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
.
Submitted by ftm.zahroh on

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