Some people say that self employment is better than a job in a country or an institution. Discuss both modes of work and give your opinion.

Several folks say that
self-employment
is better than a normal 9-5 career in a company owned by a country or an institution. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
because it has its
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
and
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
,
also
, it depends on many factors behind it. Working as a
self
Correct your spelling
self-employed
show examples
employee whether it is an in-
home
business or technology-related business that can be done from
home
, has its perks from not having to spare money for living costs especially if you are still living with your parent, transportation, and meal costs.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
self-employment
is harder to do if you dislike working by yourself and it is already proven that working from
home
has longer and unidentifiable working hours,
thus
, making the workers prone to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stress
easier
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. The wage for
self-employment
also
oftentimes is not stable and has a higher risk if they get played by the clients.
On the other hand
, working a normal 9-5 career even if it is costlier than from
home
, has its perks like a stable income, interacting with coworkers, and having a chance to go outside from
home
and have a relaxing time after
work
hours end.
Furthermore
,
besides
being costlier, another flaw of
this
type of
work
is that if you have an atrocious boss or coworkers, you can suffer from it because there are many cases of
work
power abuse and harassment that push the workers to quit. An example of
this
is in one of the national universities in Indonesia, there is power abuse by the rectorate to the professors because they do not want to graduate a doctorate applicant.
This
happens because, for the professors, the candidate
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not
legible
Correct your spelling
eligible
show examples
to graduate yet and it's already backed up by logical reasons, but from the start, the rectorate wants the applicant to graduate because they already got paid by the candidate.
To sum up
, I disagree that
self-employment
is better than a normal job because
besides
depending on people which they prefer the most.
Moreover
, I
also
think that having a normal, stable job and proper
work
hours is way more important and secure.
Submitted by ftm.zahroh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay provides an adequate structure and addresses the prompt but lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas and supporting examples. The introduction and conclusion should be more explicitly presented and tied to the main points.
task achievement
The essay adequately responds to the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of both self-employment and 9-5 careers. However, the ideas should be more closely related to the topic and provide clearer arguments to support the opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: